After work..

Tonight Dave started one of his night classes. So I picked up the kids at Kristi's (thanks so much). Then I took them home and Sarah of course was glued to me and didn't want to be put done. I held her as long as I could and then put her down, to make a quick dinner. Sarah just cried, I was almost done, so Jonathan got some curtons out. He then started to feed Sarah them, which as was cute to watch. Sarah was appeased for few minutes, and then cried again. But that gave me enough time to get it on the stove. Jonathan is such a good brother to Sarah!

As I reflect on today and one of the patients that I have taken care of for over a month here and there. He passed away today while I was working. Working part time has it's pros and cons. I love being with my kids and have longer breaks home with them. However, the bad thing is that is is harder for me to build a good repore with the patients and I am there here and there with my long breaks (plus charging on top of that, I don't get a patient load). And since my love is cancer patients and not working more frequent I miss getting to know them and there patients. Well, in December because of the Holiday schedule and trying to work more to pay for things that we need. I was at work more, so I was able to take care of this patient here and there and get to know him and his sweet wife. I really enjoyed saying hi and getting to know him. This man was very sick and had so many complications secondary to his illness. As the staff and I knew that he should be DNR (do not resitate), the patient and family we not ready. It has been a hard thing for me to learn, but when a family member or patient want a certain thing done no matter if I think it isn't the wisest thing. I have learned to support them in there decision. As this man suffered, I knew he would have been better off on hospice and comfort care- this wasn't there wishes. So I stood and watched this wonderful wife be by this mans side, and do what ever she could to help him if it just was holding his hand. So I supported them. Until today, when the patient finally was done and woke up this morning and told his wife "I 'm still alive". They decided to change his code status to DNR and with in hours of removing his oxygen this man pass away.

Some might wonder how I can enjoy this. But, when a patient dies that I have gotten close to; the song that always comes to my mind is "Each life that touches mine for good reflects thine own great mercy LORD". I know that I made a small difference in this mans life and his wife. I also feel that this was a blessing from Heavenly Father to me, to help me realize once again why I went into nursing (after missing that for so long).