Yes, I am a mother. The first time holding my baby. I remember not knowing how to hold him, or what to do. I felt so inadequate to be a mother, I always knew I would be a mother when that time came, but I never dreamed of it in my mind. But, I have to say that I love being a mother, it is one of the most wonderful gifts that Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me. I feel so blessed to have these wonderful children in my life forever. It has been hard, but I think once I realized that Jonathan walks at his own beat of his drum. Being a mother became a lot easier for me. I am so thankful for my Jonathan who brings so much joy to Dave and I (and all that know him). He is a wonderful boy that loves life!
2 years from today I became mother! This is a picture of me about 3 weeks before I was due. I can't find any closer to my due date, I think it is because I didn't take any because I thought I was huge. Although in retrospect I wasn't big at all, maybe just swollen. But here I am before I was a mother. I was not sure what to expect. I was scared and nervous because of everything that the Doctors had told us that might be wrong with our little boy. I was stressed a lot of the time, instead of enjoying my first pregnancy. If I would have gone back, I would have just had the first ultrasound and let him be and not listen to the doctors of what could have been wrong with him. BUT, of course that is now looking back. I have been thinking a lot about the weekend that Jonathan was born. I was admitted to the hospital for PIH (Pregnancy induced hypertension), but I of course was in denial and thought that I was just stressed and thought that the nurse just needed to use a manuel cuff and that it would be fine. I am not sure if you have herd that a nurse is the worst patient and yes that was me. I was so upset that the doctor, not Dr Wolsey and that was half the problem because my Doctor was out of town, was admitting me I had an agenda and that was to have Jonathan on Monday morning when Dr Wolsey was in town ( I was going to have Jonathan early anyways because my placenta wasn't giving him the nutrition that he needed). Well, I just rested a lot and waited. Well, Sunday morning they were going to start to soften my cervix, which they applied some gel. Well, it didn't do much to my cervix but Jonathan wasn't tolerating the small little contraction, that I couldn't even feel. So later that afternoon I had heartburn, so I asked for some milk. The nurse came in and told me that things weren't looking good and that the Doctor needed to come and talk with me. He felt that Jonathan was so small and that he wasn't even tolerating small contractions that he wouldn't tolerate full on contractions, so he felt that I needed to have a c- section. And with the plan before, I was going to get the gel the Sunday night and soften my cervix and send me home till Monday morning so then I could have Jonathan with Dr Wolsey. However, if we would have stuck to my agenda we never would have know that Jonathan was having problems, and something horrible could have happen. A stronger testimony that Heavenly Father is in charge and he knows what needs to happen and to trust him was reaffirmed to me that day. So Dr Thrope told me that it would be in my and my babies best interest to have a c-section within the next 2 hours. I of course knew that this is what was suppose to happen, but I wasn't happy with it first Dr Wolsey wasn't there and second I had the prefect baby delivery in my head ( you know Dave on my one side, my mom and my sister and the excitement...), well that didn't happen. All my family came to support me, and I was wheeled in and Dave was in his marshmallow suit. And they delivered him at 6 pm on October 22, 2006 Jonathan David, and Dr Thrope said as he was delivering him and showing him over the drape to me, "That he won't win any weight competitions, but he is healthy".
So as I got stitched up Dave watched Jonathan, and they tried to send him to the well baby nursery, but he was 40 grams shy of the requirement to be there. So he was sent to the NICU. As you will see up about that is me holding Jonathan in the NICU. I then was sent to my room in the postpartum floor. That night I started to have my own problems. I started to have a few liters of oxygen put on me, and an O2 monitor on me. So I couldn't sleep cause every time that I was started to fall asleep it would beep. I couldn't breath I started developing a cough, and by the end of the night I was on 10 liters of oxygen. Finally The nurse called Dr Wolsey, he gave me some lasix and something else I can't remember. I finally started to get an hour or two of sleep. Well, at 5:30 I woke up and that motherly insist was in me. I felt panicked I needed to see my baby. However, I couldn't move I just had surgery, I still couldn't breath. It was about shift change and of course when I called, no one was going to let me leave to see my baby, and I am totally sick and the nurse was going to kill me by the end of the night. So I finally say Dr Wolsey and I had to go and do all these test to figure out what was wrong with me. I didn't get to go see Jonathan till early that afternoon. But, then I was exhausted, emotional, and needed sleep. And on top of that I couldn't feed him (or attempt to) cause I had contrast through my IV for a CT scan. They finally found out that I had pulmonary edema! So I stayed in the hospital longer then most and the nurses were of course done with me and I was done with them. Jonathan stayed in the hospital for 10 days to gain weight and learn how to eat. It was very hard to be discharged from the hospital and not bring my Jonathan home with me even though I knew that was what was going to happen. We finally brought him home, it was a wonderful day!
Yes, I am a mother. The first time holding my baby. I remember not knowing how to hold him, or what to do. I felt so inadequate to be a mother, I always knew I would be a mother when that time came, but I never dreamed of it in my mind. But, I have to say that I love being a mother, it is one of the most wonderful gifts that Heavenly Father has bestowed upon me. I feel so blessed to have these wonderful children in my life forever. It has been hard, but I think once I realized that Jonathan walks at his own beat of his drum. Being a mother became a lot easier for me. I am so thankful for my Jonathan who brings so much joy to Dave and I (and all that know him). He is a wonderful boy that loves life! 
2 years from today I became mother! This is a picture of me about 3 weeks before I was due. I can't find any closer to my due date, I think it is because I didn't take any because I thought I was huge. Although in retrospect I wasn't big at all, maybe just swollen. But here I am before I was a mother. I was not sure what to expect. I was scared and nervous because of everything that the Doctors had told us that might be wrong with our little boy. I was stressed a lot of the time, instead of enjoying my first pregnancy. If I would have gone back, I would have just had the first ultrasound and let him be and not listen to the doctors of what could have been wrong with him. BUT, of course that is now looking back. I have been thinking a lot about the weekend that Jonathan was born. I was admitted to the hospital for PIH (Pregnancy induced hypertension), but I of course was in denial and thought that I was just stressed and thought that the nurse just needed to use a manuel cuff and that it would be fine. I am not sure if you have herd that a nurse is the worst patient and yes that was me. I was so upset that the doctor, not Dr Wolsey and that was half the problem because my Doctor was out of town, was admitting me I had an agenda and that was to have Jonathan on Monday morning when Dr Wolsey was in town ( I was going to have Jonathan early anyways because my placenta wasn't giving him the nutrition that he needed). Well, I just rested a lot and waited. Well, Sunday morning they were going to start to soften my cervix, which they applied some gel. Well, it didn't do much to my cervix but Jonathan wasn't tolerating the small little contraction, that I couldn't even feel. So later that afternoon I had heartburn, so I asked for some milk. The nurse came in and told me that things weren't looking good and that the Doctor needed to come and talk with me. He felt that Jonathan was so small and that he wasn't even tolerating small contractions that he wouldn't tolerate full on contractions, so he felt that I needed to have a c- section. And with the plan before, I was going to get the gel the Sunday night and soften my cervix and send me home till Monday morning so then I could have Jonathan with Dr Wolsey. However, if we would have stuck to my agenda we never would have know that Jonathan was having problems, and something horrible could have happen. A stronger testimony that Heavenly Father is in charge and he knows what needs to happen and to trust him was reaffirmed to me that day. So Dr Thrope told me that it would be in my and my babies best interest to have a c-section within the next 2 hours. I of course knew that this is what was suppose to happen, but I wasn't happy with it first Dr Wolsey wasn't there and second I had the prefect baby delivery in my head ( you know Dave on my one side, my mom and my sister and the excitement...), well that didn't happen. All my family came to support me, and I was wheeled in and Dave was in his marshmallow suit. And they delivered him at 6 pm on October 22, 2006 Jonathan David, and Dr Thrope said as he was delivering him and showing him over the drape to me, "That he won't win any weight competitions, but he is healthy". 
So as I got stitched up Dave watched Jonathan, and they tried to send him to the well baby nursery, but he was 40 grams shy of the requirement to be there. So he was sent to the NICU. As you will see up about that is me holding Jonathan in the NICU. I then was sent to my room in the postpartum floor. That night I started to have my own problems. I started to have a few liters of oxygen put on me, and an O2 monitor on me. So I couldn't sleep cause every time that I was started to fall asleep it would beep. I couldn't breath I started developing a cough, and by the end of the night I was on 10 liters of oxygen. Finally The nurse called Dr Wolsey, he gave me some lasix and something else I can't remember. I finally started to get an hour or two of sleep. Well, at 5:30 I woke up and that motherly insist was in me. I felt panicked I needed to see my baby. However, I couldn't move I just had surgery, I still couldn't breath. It was about shift change and of course when I called, no one was going to let me leave to see my baby, and I am totally sick and the nurse was going to kill me by the end of the night. So I finally say Dr Wolsey and I had to go and do all these test to figure out what was wrong with me. I didn't get to go see Jonathan till early that afternoon. But, then I was exhausted, emotional, and needed sleep. And on top of that I couldn't feed him (or attempt to) cause I had contrast through my IV for a CT scan. They finally found out that I had pulmonary edema! So I stayed in the hospital longer then most and the nurses were of course done with me and I was done with them. Jonathan stayed in the hospital for 10 days to gain weight and learn how to eat. It was very hard to be discharged from the hospital and not bring my Jonathan home with me even though I knew that was what was going to happen. We finally brought him home, it was a wonderful day!
2 comments:
WOW! What a story. I'm so glad you shared that. Jonathan is one of THE CUTEST little guys I've ever seen!
What a wonderful thing to remember! You have done a wonderful job in recalling the experience. You are a wonderful Mother! I love you!
Mom
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